My Crazy Life

Jan. 7, 2018

Are You Going Through the Motions?


This is something that I remember feeling before I was on Extreme Weight Loss. I felt I was living my life just doing what was expected of me and “wasting” my time until the next thing came up. A song came on the radio and it was called “Motions”. It made me really look into my life and question the decisions I had made up to the point in my life. It is something that I ask myself often. Am I just going through the motions of my life? What can I do to live the best life? How can I become great?


There is so much more to living a happy and healthy life without worrying about stepping on a scale. If you are reading this blog I hope that you know your life is so much more important than your body mass. Every day you live should be lived bettering yourself or those around you. It is a freaking hard to do, but what else could be more important?


This week I hope you can ask yourself these questions and take a deep look into the choices that you are making with your life. Try sitting down and writing out things you are happy with in your life and things that you want to change in your life. If you are happy with everything that is phenomenal, but it makes me question if you are serious with your answers? I am a realist and to think that someone is 100% happy with their live is a great thought, but a rare happening.


If there are things that you want to change in your life there is nothing stopping you. You may not be able to completely change it but you can take steps to start that change. There will always be obstacles in front of you whether it is financial, familial, or environmental. DO NOT ACCEPT THESE OBSTACLES. If you really want to change it, keep fighting. Ask for help, lean on your support system, or put a plan into action. YOU CAN DO IT.


Something that I have not touched on this year is the importance of a healthy support system. These are people that will be there for you through the trenches when you do not feel you can go any further and you want to give up. Without a good support system your journey will be much harder but not unobtainable! A bit of a hint is if you get started with changing your life your support system will naturally appear. There will be people that are supportive of your journey and you better hold onto those individuals.


The haters will hate! This deserves its own paragraph! When I felt I looked my best I was told, “You look like you have cancer” and “Are you doing meth”. These are the people that you need to let go… and move forward. There is no place for this kind of negativity! Do not allow someone to dictate how you feel about yourself. The most important thing is that you are happy with yourself! If you can wake up in the morning and look at yourself and smile, you have more than so many other people in this world.


I wish for you more than anything the ability to smile and be happy with yourself. I wish you the peace of mind to not just go through the motions but to reach out and make it the best life you can have. You can only accomplish this by being consistent with your daily choices. Take it one day at a time and DO LIFE!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

Love to All,



Jan. 7, 2018

New Year 2018

I first want to extend a very Happy and Healthy New Year. I hope this finds you in good spirits and with the determination to hit the ground running. I know that many people start the new year with the best of intentions to crush their resolutions. I am a realist and I know that one day in you are feeling strong like there is nothing going to stop you. The reality is many of us will become overwhelmed after the first week and give up. There are some that will make it a couple of weeks or even a month. I want more than that for you! I want you to make it through 2018 accomplishing everything you desire.


I wish I could tell you there is a magic pill, an easy button, or a Cliff’s notes version of making it through this year like a breeze. There is not a simple way to be successful, it takes hard work and dedication. The question that you need to ask yourself is, “CAN I DO THIS?” I ask myself this question on an almost daily basis.  I also ask myself, “Are you willing to put in the work it will take to get the things you want.” If you answer no to either of those questions it may not be the right time for change. You have to answer yes to both of these questions to get to the real nuts and bolts of change.


You may have to “Get Ready” to get ready. There may be several aspects of your daily life that you will have to assess to see if there is a change that needs to be made to ensure you have what it will take for true change. I can personally say that if you don’t make the necessary changes now the results will not be long-lasting. I did not make the necessary changes and my results were short lived. This is something that I really struggle with. I wish I would have put in the work the first time I “transformed” my life. At that time, I was more worried about the results of a television show than truly learning the best way to live a healthy life.


I have spent the last three years trying to figure out what works best for me and what I need to do to live the life I want. I want to share these lessons with you, to hopefully ease some of the stress of changing. The information I am about to provide will help you get started on your journey. I first want you to ask yourself the questions from the previous paragraph. When you can say yes to these questions and you truly mean those answers you are ready to get started.


Sit down and write out what you really want out of the next 365 days. What do you want to accomplish, experience, or conquer? Write these down and ask yourself if what you want is attainable. The biggest mistake I would make each year is setting goals that were much too lofty which I could not accomplish no matter how hard I worked. There is nothing more frustrating than working toward something that you will never reach. You will be better off to make smaller goals and accomplish them and then making new goals. This will allow you to make changes along the way.


There have been many times I set a goal that I accomplished and then realized my goals were not the same as when I started my journey. It is really nice to be able to change and be fluid in your journey. A sure way to fail is working toward a goal that you are no longer interested in attaining. There is nothing wrong with changing your goals, just ensure that you are not changing them because you no longer want to put in the work. There will come a time; trust me, that you are exhausted and the last thing you want to do is put in hard work. This is the most important time to work harder and push through your doubt.


Another mistake that people make is trying to change too many things at one time. You are less likely to be successful if you get overwhelmed and simply give up. This is a marathon not a sprint. You have nothing but time, and time it will take to accomplish your goals. You know the old saying, “It didn’t take you a day to get into this situation and it is going to take more than a day to get out of the situation.” I don’t know about you but this saying has always pissed me off. I realize that I can’t have instant gratification when it comes to changing major things in my life, but I want some hint of results.


I want you to take this week really digging deep and finding what you want. Also, ask yourself why you want to make these changes, this is almost more important than anything else. Make a few small changes and see if you are ready to continue. Make a plan for the next week. Listen, it does not have to be monumental or ground breaking. It can be as simple as increasing your water intake to half of your body weight in ounces of water. Walking an extra five minutes per day is another rather easy change to make. If you need other suggestions let me know and I will help you figure others out.


This is just a quick blog to get things going for the year, remember to take small steps and be persistent. There are going to be times, even this next week that you will want to give up. DON’T DO IT! Push through and dig deep, YOU ARE WORTH IT! Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings. Next week I will have more of the bread and butter of life changes. Until then keep your chin up and keep moving!


Love to you all!



Nov. 4, 2016

The purpose of my video is not to create sympathy of debate. I created this video because I want people to know that just because something looks pretty or successful it doesn't always mean it was reached through the safest, healthiest, or correct means. I want people to know that weight loss and healthy living can be really difficult. I want to open a dialogue between people that have or are currently battling an eating disorder, food addiction, or are struggling on their journey.

There is much more to the story and I am working on that blog and will hopefully post it on Monday or Tuesday. I have some awesome plans in store and it is the road to 247 lbs. That is the number that I want to hit, I want to do it the healthy way and in a manner that will be sustainable in the future. Please stay tuned for more information.



May. 24, 2016

It has been so long since I have updated this blog. The main reason is because I didn't have much to say. I had lost control of my life, I slipped back into old habits and I lost sight of where I wanted to be. I was ashamed that I had gained 80 lbs of the 152 I lost on the show. I was a person that was given this amazing experience and I was throwing it all away. I was not ready to maintain a healthy life, I wasn't ready to do what it takes to live a life I was proud of. It was not because my metabolism failed me, it was because I was eating horribly and not exercising, I was not keeping my promises. 

When Kelli and I made a promise to compete in a Physique competition one year from our finale date of Extreme Weight Loss. I didn't know if it was a promise that I could keep, I didn't know if it was possible for me to get back to living the healthy lifestyle that I yearned for. I wanted to look and feel the way I did when I kept my promises and ate healthy and went to the gym regularly.

 I was standing at a crossroad that I didn’t know which path I was going to choose. One path was filled with the pleasures of my food addiction and the other was filled with healthy meals and hours upon hours of hard work in the gym. I had lived both lifestyles and I know which lifestyle makes me happier and healthier. January 4th 2016 I made the decision to take my health back for the second time.

 I was ready to lose the weight...for good this time. My coach Matt Jackson with team M.E.A.T sent me a plan and told me to get started. That is exactly what I did, I got to work and didn't give up for 20 weeks. In those 20 weeks I worked a full time job, I had home responsibilities, and I had every day stressors. It was much different this time. I was not doing this for anyone but myself, I had to know that I could take control when there was nothing on the line, there was no television show, there was no one to hold me accountable with exception of myself. I knew on May 21st I was going to stand on a stage and compete against athletes that where much more prepared than I could ever have imagined.

 There were days that I wanted to throw in the towel and just live the rest of my days a slave to my addiction. With the guidance of Matt and the shoulder of Kelli I survived those tough days and moved forward. It was much harder than my year of Extreme Weight Loss, there was no television premiere at the end there was not fear of looking like an idiot in front of millions of people. The driving factor was that I wanted to stand on that stage and be proud of myself. I wanted to show the world that just because something isn’t picture perfect does not mean it is worthless.

 I will be the first to admit, I probably didn’t look like I belonged on that stage because I did not have six pack abs or cut muscles like the other athletes; but I belonged there just as much as the other guys. I worked just as hard and I sacrificed just as much as the other competitors. I lost nearly 60 pounds in the 20 weeks leading up to the competition, I am almost certain no other competitor had to lose that amount of weight. So in essence I may not have placed in the competition but I did win in so many other ways.

I learned that just because I am down and out does not mean that all is lost.  If I settle down and get to work, I can accomplish anything. I learned that I am meant for something much more than I am living up to right now. I learned that the sport of bodybuilding is filled with many people that are gracious, encouraging, selfless, and amazing. I learned that there are people placed in your life that will make or break your success; choose your support system wisely. I learned that we as humans are much harder on ourselves than we realize. I have to tell myself all the time, “give yourself credit, be as gracious to yourself as you are to others.”

 I need to take a few moments to thank the people that made this possible and showed me support from day one. I want to thank Kelli Poles, she is my ride or die and she proved that to me during this process. We had to lean on each other more times than I can count. She never failed me and we showed the world that nothing will stop us. I want to thank Matt Jackson from Team M.E.A.T. for guiding me to the stage, it was not an easy process and I am not the easiest person to coach but we covered a lot of ground in not a lot of time. I also want to Thank all of of my Meatmates for being there for me when I needed the guidance. Chris Powell, I want to thank you for getting me started on this journey to living a healthy life. Not many people would take time out of their busy schedule and fly half way across the US to support their friends. Heidi Powell, you make me want to be better every day! Your unconditional love and laughter makes my heart happy. Adan Teniente Thank you for taking the time on such short notice to coach me on posing, there is an art to it and you made me passable in such a short time frame. I can’t wait to work together again. Joel Anderson, you taught me what it is to be a competitor again, you lite a fire that will never be able to be extinguished. Thank you for always believing in me; even when I didn’t believe in myself. My mom, she has supported me in every aspect of my life and continues to love me unconditionally. There were late nights of prepping food for me and doing a load of laundry when I was too exhausted to even move. She is my rock! My Siblings; Shawn, Bobby, and Melissa: Thank you all for being there for me through everything, I haven’t always been easy to love but you did anyway. My friends and coworkers Thank you for putting up with me when I was hangry and carb depleted, I know it wasn’t always easy. I also want to Thank all of the athletes, spectators, and strangers that were so accepting and gracious to myself and Kelli.

 I wanted to share a story that made this weekend come full circle for me. Everyone that I talked to this weekend I told that I was scared to go on because the people in the audience didn’t know my story. I was going to look like someone that didn’t belong. I got a message on my Public Figure page that read,

 “Josh - I happen to incidentally be at this show to support a fellow friend of mine. I have no idea who you are or your story till now. I saw you up on stage. At 1st I thought to myself, "what the heck is this guy doing up there". I never thought of myself as a judgmental person. I mean, my goal in life is to help people like you change their lives. As you got switched around and I saw you closer, my judgmental thoughts, quickly turned. I thought to myself, ... This guy has a story, this guy did something with his life, he's everything everyone out there that has weight and health issues desires to be. This guy is the real deal. I saw your marks, your dedication, I realized the time, the pain and that you must of went through. I slumbered down in embarrassment, not for you but because of me. You deserved be up there and I'm sorry I was one of those guys that was quick to think negatively. You have inspired me, I too struggle every day and thank you for your courage, thank you for getting up there. Thank you for putting me in check. ... Best of luck in your future journey.”

            This message brought tears to my eyes, and anyone that really knows me knows I cry very infrequently. I helped someone, I helped change someone’s life. I inspired someone to be better. I realized after the storm had cleared that I am no longer going to waste this opportunity to inspire others. I am dedicating my life to helping people realize their dreams. I want others to feel the pride, joy, and happiness that I felt this past weekend. I spent so many years of my life unhappy and complacent. That chapter of my life is closed, I refuse to go back to being mediocre. I will live the rest of my life extraordinary. Please stay tuned for many great things. And always remember…. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!



May. 23, 2016